{"id":173,"date":"2012-03-21T23:35:48","date_gmt":"2012-03-22T03:35:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chiefcookandbottlewasher.biz\/?p=173"},"modified":"2012-03-22T08:00:20","modified_gmt":"2012-03-22T12:00:20","slug":"hating-your-customers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chiefcookandbottlewasher.biz\/?p=173","title":{"rendered":"Small Business Owner’s Nasty Secret: Resentment Toward Your Customers"},"content":{"rendered":"

Once while in college in Philadelphia,\u00a0Bottle Washer and I took a day trip to the Jersey Shore with Bottle Washer’s\u00a0high school buddy Ross.\u00a0(Although he has opted for\u00a0corporate life as\u00a0VP of a Major Bank, Ross really gets it when it comes to Small Business.\u00a0 I like Ross.)\u00a0 Anyway, this particular day we were cruising down the AC Expressway in my Camaro, T-tops off, natch, to appease Ross’ mom.\u00a0 Beloved family\u00a0friends, whom we’ll call Mr. and Mrs. Burntout, \u00a0had opened a Bed and Breakfast <\/strong>in Cape May, and after several years of his mom’s prodding, Ross was finally going down to check it out.\u00a0 Bottle Washer and I were eagerly anticipating,\u00a0in our fledgling pre-Small Business Ownership way,\u00a0having the opportunity to speak with some real Small Business Owners – they were actually doing what we had only dreamed about!\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

So commenced one of the most awkward days I have ever endured.<\/p>\n

Cape May is a\u00a0picturesque\u00a0tourist magnet\u00a0loaded with huge\u00a019th century Victorian-style homes on lush tree-lined streets.\u00a0\u00a0Most of these Painted Ladies\u00a0have been converted to Bed and Breakfasts or boutique hotels, including the one owned by Ross’ friends.\u00a0\u00a0 It was hotter than the Devil’s crotch that day, and upon arrival we weren’t\u00a0offered any incentive, say in the form of a cold drink, \u00a0to over-stay our apparently limited welcome.\u00a0 Our visions of chilling in deep-cushioned wicker chairs on a shady porch and catching up all afternoon faded fast, which was actually okay, as the day cooled off\u00a0quickly during the perfunctory house tour.\u00a0\u00a0We were reluctantly shown\u00a0the\u00a0exterior\u00a0gingerbread trim\u00a0that\u00a0Mr. Burntout had hand carved, the bedroom quilts that Mrs.\u00a0Burntout had hand sewn, the bottles lined up holding collections of shells, sand, and sea glass, and the driftwood artfully displayed on each fireplace mantle.\u00a0 It was obvious that this tired old couple had poured \u00a0hours of love and effort into\u00a0their Small Business.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

But let me tell you, the honeymoon was over.<\/strong>\u00a0 While they were dourly showing us around the magnificent kitchen straight from the set of\u00a0Downton Abbey, through the gleaming window I noticed a sun-kissed and sandy young family happily showering off memories of a beach vacation in the outdoor stalls.\u00a0 It was so sweetly quaint.\u00a0 Until Mrs. Burntout came up behind me.\u00a0 “Just look at them,” she hissed into my ear, “trying to turn a two-night stay into a three-day stay.”\u00a0 She then proceeded to recount all of this particular family’s sins, <\/strong>which included heinous offenses such as using extra towels,\u00a0 requesting additional\u00a0cookies at afternoon tea,\u00a0asking if they could put the baby’s milk in the refrigerator, and having the nerve to not leave beautiful Cape May at precisely 11am check-out time, but stay and enjoy the remainder of the day at the beach, which led to the most unforgivable action of them all: the after-checkout rinsing in the outdoor showers, a crime which we were now all witnessing.<\/p>\n

I was dumbstruck – absolutely horrified.\u00a0 These people were Mr. and Mrs. Burntout’s customers<\/em>, their livelihood<\/em>, their guests<\/em>!\u00a0 The entire experience rattled me like a bingo ball in a cage.\u00a0 Small Business Owners cherish<\/em> their customers, don’t they?<\/strong>\u00a0 The whole building-relationships-with-their-patrons-thing. \u00a0They love <\/em>being Small Business Owners, right?\u00a0 They are living the dream!\u00a0 Who were these people?<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0What was wrong with them?\u00a0 On the somber ride back to Philly\u00a0I gave Bottle Washer\u00a0this command:\u00a0\u00a0“If I EVER get that bitter and jaded about our\u00a0customers,\u00a0shoot me.”\u00a0\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 I sure am glad that Bottle Washer takes orders about as well as a\u00a0feral cat.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, resentment toward customers is a common manifestation and cause of Small Business Owner burn out,<\/strong>and yep, it has happened to me.\u00a0 You know those customers that you greet each day with a charming smile and jump through hoops to please?\u00a0 They will steal from you.\u00a0 They will demand advice, services, and products from you for which they will have no intention of paying. \u00a0They will be unapologetically rude and\u00a0unreasonable.\u00a0\u00a0They will trash your facility and inexplicably whiz all over your restroom floor.\u00a0 You will come to loathe them.\u00a0 Not just a mild dislike, but a deep visceral resentment.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sadly, this is normal.\u00a0 Not completely healthy, perhaps, but a very real and common phenomenon shared by your fellow Small Business Owners.<\/strong>\u00a0 Although\u00a0Small Business Owners are typically portrayed as living their passion, turning their backs on the corporate jungle to hack their\u00a0way independently through the commercial underbrush to self-sufficiency, carried along effortlessly by the ebullient love of their trade, in fact they are exhausted, over-extended, and feel slightly like everyone is taking advantage of them.\u00a0 They get cynical.\u00a0 And sometimes, like Mr. and Mrs. Burntout, a bit mean.\u00a0 The exchange of service or product for compensation can turn into a grudge match, with the customers\u00a0 perceived as being on the other team.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In Rebel Bookseller<\/em>, a great read for Small Business Owners by the way,\u00a0author Andrew Laties writes about this subject: “I’d developed a loathing for our customers.\u00a0 They didn’t know it, of course.\u00a0 They thought I loved them…Perhaps you think I was alone in this irritation with the people in a store.\u00a0 Not at all.\u00a0 Every retailer, every restaurateur, every salesperson struggles with hatred of the customer.\u00a0 That’s why there are signs posted in backrooms saying, ‘Remember, without our customers, we’re out of business, and you’re out of a job.’\u00a0 It’s brutally tough to be nice to customers.<\/strong>”\u00a0 (This doesn’t only happen to\u00a0business owners, by the way.\u00a0\u00a0At my\u00a0first job out of college,\u00a0in a\u00a0department store, one salesclerk got so frustrated with a rude customer she broke the customer’s nose with one of those old sliding credit card imprinters.)\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

The best way to prevent or diminish\u00a0customer burn out is to\u00a0give yourself\u00a0 a break –\u00a0literally.\u00a0 All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy, and Small Business Owners a bit postal.\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0So,\u00a0the next time that\u00a0customer\u00a0who\u00a0reminds you of Angela Lansbury gives you a jar of her lovingly-made peach jam, and as you\u00a0graciously\u00a0tell her how yummy it will be smeared on your fresh toast in the morning you are actually thinking of smearing it all over her grandmotherly face, you need to seriously consider taking one or more of these actions:<\/strong><\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 Take regular vacations.<\/strong>\u00a0 Schedule them\u00a0at least 6-12 months\u00a0ahead so you have it\u00a0to look forward to, which alone can help your outlook.\u00a0 Bottle Washer gets\u00a0squirrelly during the\u00a0long, dark winters we have.\u00a0 Looking forward to his\u00a0annual\u00a0March weekend in Florida is the only thing that gets him past December.\u00a0\u00a0One contractor we know takes a three-day golf weekend every quarter, whether he feels he needs it or not.\u00a0 Arrange for staff coverage or notify your customer base that you will be closed well in advance.<\/strong>\u00a0 You may not think so, but customers generally are understanding and will plan accordingly.\u00a0 To minimize the impact on your bottom line, plan your vacations during your cyclical slow times.<\/strong>\u00a0 Be sure when doing your annual financial plan\u00a0that you take into account that you are expected to be paid for this week or two without bringing in any revenue.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Oh, and by the way, “take regular\u00a0vacations” means go somewhere else.\u00a0 Anywhere.\u00a0 Even if it’s your brother’s couch in Ohio.\u00a0\u00a0A staycation does not count for us Small Business Owners<\/strong>, who\u00a0tend to have the\u00a0self discipline of a fat kid in a candy shop on our days off; the temptation to go into work “for just an hour or so” is too great for us if we are still in town.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 Plan for down time as a regular part of your work hours.\u00a0<\/strong>An architect we know holds a one-drink limit wine and cheese hour at his\u00a0office\u00a0every Friday afternoon\u00a0 – for himself, staff, and anyone else who happens to wander in.\u00a0 The only rule – no work talk.\u00a0 It allows for him and his staff to interact in a casual manner, relate on a personal level,\u00a0and decompress after\u00a0a stressful week before heading home to their families for the weekend.\u00a0\u00a0 Bottle Washer tries to schedule a half day every week that he has no client interaction or appointments.\u00a0 He uses that time for long-range planning, catching up on paperwork, or occasionally a long drive in his convertible.\u00a0<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 Hire more help.<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0Perhaps you are trying to do it all, and it is too much.\u00a0 It may be time to hire another employee or increase the hours of an existing employee.\u00a0If you aren’t sure if you can afford higher payroll expenses, check out my post entitled\u00a0“Hiring Series: Calculating the cost of Your First Employee” for guidance.\u00a0<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 Switch job duties with a\u00a0partner or employee.<\/strong>\u00a0 Sometimes just doing something else temporarily or\u00a0on a regular basis\u00a0is enough to recharge your battery, especially if it does not involve customer contact.<\/p>\n

5.\u00a0 Be sure you are being paid adequately.<\/strong>\u00a0 If you feel you are being paid unfairly, you will come to resent your customers and your business as the source of the low wage.\u00a0 Reassess your pricing structure and expenses.\u00a0 If your enterprise cannot support an income that satisfies you, then you need to rethink the viability of your business model.<\/strong><\/p>\n

6.\u00a0 Stay ahead of your accounts receivable.<\/strong>\u00a0 Do not allow unpaid billings to fester and cause resentments.\u00a0 Have a solid Billing and Collections Policy that gets results and follow it diligently <\/strong>so financial tensions don’t develop between you and your clientele.\u00a0<\/p>\n

7.\u00a0 Don’t let customers abuse or manipulate you.<\/strong>\u00a0 Although by far most of your customers are well meaning and gracious, a few will try to squeeze every ounce of energy\/profit\/product\/fill in the blank from you.\u00a0 Don’t let them.\u00a0\u00a0Bottle Washer and I learned this lesson, again, this winter.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>We offer a service to individuals\u00a0on an annual basis.\u00a0 To accommodate the needs of our customer base, which tends to travel extensively, we allowed for one one-month freeze of their service, that is, the service could be put on hold for one month, with advance notice, at some point during the year.\u00a0 It was so simple and clear cut.\u00a0 How could this go wrong?\u00a0\u00a0Well, it quickly became a quagmire.\u00a0 First customers would forget to inform us of their desire to freeze the service, and we were doing it retroactively, which was a huge hassle on the billing side.\u00a0 Then people began to slowly\u00a0decrease the amount of time of the hold, until finally, one day a\u00a0lady asked Bottle Washer to freeze her service for ONE DAY, pointing out to him that she still had 29 MORE DAYS which she could freeze her service that year.\u00a0 Uh-oh.\u00a0 You’ve heard of the straw that broke the camel’s back?\u00a0 Well, that was it, and the end of our freeze option.\u00a0 The point is, WE let it get to that point.\u00a0 Be nice, but don’t be a patsy.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

8.\u00a0 Vent, but be careful to whom.\u00a0<\/strong>Fellow Small Business Owners are excellent for this.\u00a0 Did you ever wonder why doctors hang out with doctors, and teachers hang out with teachers? It’s because they understand <\/em>each other.\u00a0 Other Small Business Owners get <\/em>that patrons can\u00a0be\u00a0draining.\u00a0 Vindication is good for the soul.\u00a0 \u00a0But – warning – \u00a0someone else may perceive you as just being a jerk.\u00a0 Last summer as I was having dinner with\u00a0friends – who are not Small Business Owners –\u00a0I began to unload about this really annoying customer.\u00a0 Halfway through the story I realized that the woman with whom I was eating was also a customer of mine, and that she had recently done the exact same thing.\u00a0 Ouch.\u00a0 It was a difficult and less-than-successful back pedal.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Have you ever experienced resentment toward your customers?\u00a0 How did you rectify\u00a0the situation?\u00a0 If not, how do you avoid it?<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Once while in college in Philadelphia,\u00a0Bottle Washer and I took a day trip to the Jersey Shore with Bottle Washer’s\u00a0high school buddy Ross.\u00a0(Although he has opted for\u00a0corporate life as\u00a0VP of a Major Bank, Ross really gets it when it comes … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[41],"tags":[44,8,42,43,20],"class_list":["post-173","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-small-business-and-your-life","tag-customer-relations","tag-small-business","tag-small-business-lifestyle","tag-small-business-owner-burn-out","tag-small-business-ownership"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chiefcookandbottlewasher.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chiefcookandbottlewasher.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chiefcookandbottlewasher.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chiefcookandbottlewasher.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chiefcookandbottlewasher.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=173"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/chiefcookandbottlewasher.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":183,"href":"https:\/\/chiefcookandbottlewasher.biz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173\/revisions\/183"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chiefcookandbottlewasher.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=173"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chiefcookandbottlewasher.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=173"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chiefcookandbottlewasher.biz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=173"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}